1.Nessie
Away up in Scotland is the place that's best
Is a Scottish fjord that they call Loch Ness
The loch is so deep there ain't nobody know
And deep within the loch is a bonnie bonnie creature
A long time ago there was a people who knew
The water and the land and all life is sacred.
Everybody treated Nessie with respect
Nobody bothered her swimming in the sea so,
Swim round so proud and beautiful.
Yeah she squiggled and she squoggled
And she frolicked in the sunshine
She swam into another serpent and they fell in love
With the ocean and the highlands and the stars up above
Why go away there were no reasons
Time rolled on about 10,000 years
The ancient people of the loch began to disappear
Some were wiped out, some moved away
Who could tell that the end was near so,
Go now, get down, and swim away
But don't you forget to return on a sunny day
Come on, come on, oh Nessie come on
Come on, come on, Loch Ness is where you belong
So come on, oh Nessie come on, Loch Ness is where you belong.
Now the people of the world look down in Loch Ness
And they noticed something big and bumpy swimming all around
And the newspapers said, 'she couldn't be found'
So they got the radiomen and the television crew
Run Nessie run they're all after you
Now they've got the helicopters and submarines too
If you let them capture you I know what they'll do
We'll have to pay to see you in an underwater zoo, No!
Go now, get down, and swim away
But don't you forget to return on a sunny day
Come on, come on, oh Nessie come on
Come on, come on, Loch Ness is where you belong
So come on, oh Nessie come on, Loch Ness is where you belong.
2.Drink The Way I Do
you make me feel like my first hangover
you're touchin' me like the very worst time
an' i feel nothin' for tomorrows pain
and i've learned my lesson....again
i do the unoccasional dumb thing
i try to keep them many
and not so far between
and all the whisky makes me crazy
when i've got nothin' better：to do
it's my confession
hey, it's my profession
well i profess, to all the rest
that i drink the way i...do
3.10,000 Shots
Too many towns, so many years
Billions of parties and all the whiskey
Please forgive me if I tend to forget
But I can't remember your name
Your face, think I remember
Didn't I meet you last December？
In a stinkin' squat or a parking lot
Aye it's good to see you again
We've had good times and if you'd kindly remind me
I just might remember your name
After knocking back 10,000 shots
All you punks look the same
Your face, now I remember
Didn't I meet you last December？
In a stinkin' squat or a parking lot
Perhaps we met but maybe not
We've had good times and if you'd kindly remind me
I just might remember your name
After knocking back 10,000 shots
All you punks look the same
After knocking back 10,000 shots
All you punks look the same
4.Pickled
wasn't so fickle, fickle with my pickle
As fickle as I am today
Nothing like a wiggle ＆ a tickle of your pickle
Especially when you're pickled all day
Pickled in the morning
Pickled through the day
Well you might do right by doin' somethin' pickled
So don't put gettin' pickled down
Slaver doon yer mickle for a wiggle ＆ a jiggle
So's the tickle in your pickle will stay
But if you get a trickle
From a wiggle ＆ a jiggle
It's off to the clinic that day
Pickled in the morning
Pickled through the day
Well you might do right by doin' somethin' pickled
So don't put gettin' pickled down
Pickled in the moonlight, pickled as the sun comes 'round
Well you might do right by doin' somethin' pickled
So don't put gettin' pickled down!
5.Auld Mrs. Hunt
She's got a hunt punt cuddie!
It's not a cuddy puddy; it's a cuddie puddie hunt
Auld Mrs. Hunt had a hunt punt cuddie
Not a cuddy puddy, but a cuddie puddie hunt
Auld Mrs. Hunt had a hunt punt cuddie
Not a cuddy puddy, but a cuddie puddie hunt
Auld Mrs. Hunt had a hunt punt cuddie
Not a cuddy puddy, but a cuddie puddie hunt
Auld Mrs. Hunt had a hunt punt cuddie
Not a cuddy puddy, but a cuddie puddie hunt
Not a cuddy puddy, but a cuddie puddie hunt
6.Bastards
And if you want to find 'em, you kin find 'em in the pub
Early in the morning into the dead of night
They're closin' down the bar and screamin' about our rights
All my friends are bastards, each and every one
And if you want to find 'em, you kin find 'em in the pub
There's the MacKannogh Fulkinator hangin' by the loo
Waitin' for that special someone, will he go askew？
For a whisky and a cigarette and a place to spend the night
And doin' all them kinky things we know that just ain't nice
And when I go, I wanno go to whisky heaven
I said I know I've got a really thirsty soul
Hell I dunno maybe we'll all end up in whisky heaven
Yeah just sittin' around and drinkin' watchin' rivers of whisky
flow
We enjoy the feaky people flying about the space
Punk roch hair the devil may care
And pierced throughout the face
We're much worse than all of that
If the truth be known
We'll drink te you, you'll drink to us
We'll drink te you and yours
7.My Bonnie
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the sea
Won't somebody please cross the ocean
And bring back My Bonnie to me？ (repeat)
Bring back,
Oh bring back,
Oh bring back
My Bonnie to me, to me (repeat)
My Bonnie
Come back Bonnie
My Bonnie
Come back Bonnie
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the sea
Won't somebody please cross the ocean
And bring back My Bonnie to me？
8.Scots Wha' Ha'e
Scots what ha'e wi' Wallace bled Scots wham Bruce has aften led
Welcome tae yer gory bed
Or to victory
Now's the day and now' the hour
See the front o' battle lour
See approach proud Edward's power
Chains and slavery
Wha will be a traitor knave？
Wha can fill a coward's grave？
Wha sae base as be a slave？
Let him turn and flee
Wha for Scotland's King and Law
Freedom's sword will strongly draw
Freeman stand or Freeman fa'
Let him follow me
By oppression's woes and pains
By our sons in servile chains
We will drain oor dearest veins
But they shall be free.
Lay the proud usurpers low
Tyrants fall in every foe
Liberty's in every blow
Let us do or die
Scots wha ha'e with Wallace bled
Scots wham Bruce has aften led
Welcome to your gory bed
Or to victory
9.Droppin' Like Flies
i recall back in '79 i was just a wee kid livin' in a dive
didn't drink, didn't dance, didn't ever smoke hash
but it changed when i heard the clash
and you know i needed more so i got
up and out to the record store
i bought all the records i could afford
an' i played em all on my stereo
this is a song saluting punkrockers rise
and what they did to change the times
but with such a lifestyle they're burnin'
on both sides
now they're droppin' like flies
all those old punk rock guys
i became a fan ＆ i remain that way
and to this day, i'm still blown away
those bands just cut me to the bone
like the damned, the pistols ＆ the ramones
now we just wanna say
they made us what we are today
so now every time we play
we remember those of yesterday
well i became a fan ＆ i remain that way
and to this day, i'm still blown away
and then theres me i'm not dead yet
but never ever know i could be next
10.Pour Decisions
I'm living up in Canada, and I'm Canadian
Scottish Canadian with opportunity
I could have been a manager of a brewery
Making beer for everyone but most of all for me
My father was a soda jerk, my mom an office clerk
But neither one of those was good enough for me
I could have moved into the hills, and ran a few stills
And made a fortune selling hooch beyond the law
Pour decisions, a punk musician
Just ain't as cute at 53
I used to be a lumberjack, and I'm ok with that
I wore suspenders, little panties, and a bra
I used to be a socialist, a sort of communist
Now I'm a pessimist and I don't care at all
I could have been a minister, a holy predator
A man of faith you really wouldn't want to meet
Perhaps a Scientologist, just as a hobbyist
And start a cult that's turning people into sheep
Pour decisions, a punk musician
Just ain't as cute at 53
I have forsaken money makin'
Yeah, you still wish you were me
11.The Skeleton And The Tailor
there once was a wee laddie-o who lived not so very long ago
who had a brother with a heart of gold, they soon grew into men
the younger one had never walked, because of this he never had
the brighter view and attitude, cursed to live in a wheelie
chair
days went by, the story goes, they got the gift for making
clothes
shirts and britches, coats and smocks, bluses, kilts and hats
and socks
one day after closing shop his brother wheeled him for a drop
down to the pub where the locals drink, speaking in low tones
tailor, tailor, all alone in the tavern sewing clothes
tailor, tailor, don't believe in things that walk at night
well he sat there sipping, mendin' clothes
listening to those who'd never spent the night
beside the stone and graves on haunted hill
he said 'Roll me up, we'll make a bet, i'll spend the night all
by myself
to prove there ain't no ghosts that haunt the stones on
graveyard hill'
tailor, tailor, all alone in the graveyard sewing clothes
tailor, tailor, don't believe in things that walk at night
believe in things that haunt the moonlight
well he sat there in the moonlight, he sat there mendin' clothes
he was shocked to see a big skeleton standing in the graveyard
10 feet tall
he tried to kill the tailor, but he glanced him smashing stones
he took his flight for his life and walked around for evermore
tailor, tailor, all alone in the graveyard sewing clothes
tailor, tailor, don't believe in things that walk at night
believe in things that haunt the moonlight
12.Best Day Until Tomorrow
enjoy what'chas got, not what you have not
'tis a weak heart lamenting with sorrow
when the days seem cursed, it could always be worse
fight depression with sword and arrow
when the zeppelinous clouds of trouble abound
and thunder is clapping and lightning strikes ground
just when yer thinking this may be your last
throw a lash 'round the mast, hold fast!
when the world ain't right, and it smithes ye with strife
ye can now buckle down, it's a test they call life
very soon you will see what kind of animal you'd be
taking the bite outta life
when they're testing the gallows, yer hung like a dog
or they're marching us out to a firing squad
we just smile and recall all the good times we had
it's the best 'til tomorrow
it's the best day 'til tomorrow
no considering surrender when yer down in the dregs
if ye look down and notice you still have your legs
so stand up and fight you just might seize the day
it's the best day 'til tomorrow
13.Bitch Off The Money
Talkin' 'bout the bitch, she's givin' me the twitch
So powerful ＆ regal on her throne
A two bit whore, she won't let go
Hey, what 're we gonna do 'cos she won't leave us alone
Pussycat, pussycat where have you been
Gone to bite the bitch they call the Queen
She's crass, she's right, she's the ruling class
She got one hand in my sporran, the other up my ass
She's a bitch on my money, get the Queen off the money
Get her off
Hope to see the monarchy shrivel up ＆ slither away
When little Johnny Rotten screamed 'God Save The Queen'
What'd he mean？ Hey! What th' fuck 'd he mean？
If you rock the royal seat you can bet you'll see
The SAS execution squad's order from above
They're the carnate of Evil English Diablo Satana
Prince Charlie got mummy to rule Diana
14.Get Lost
go on get lost ＆ join a punkrock band
quit your school, give up your job
and live in a stinky van
they won't let you take it easy
you don't wanna get it slow
now you gotta get 'cher ass to the next punkshow
so... ya! go on! get lost!
go on get lost ＆ fuck your life for good
fall through the cracks of society
like your old man said you would
now you can never take it easy
never ever get it slow
coz it's one hundred miles an hour
to the next punkshow
so ya...go on! get lost!
don't need a stupid d.j.
cos we hate the radio ＆ we
don't own a fukkin' tv set coz
we ain't even got a home
got no job, no pets, no family, coz
we're forever on the road
if you think it's so damn easy：
just get lost!
15.Wild Ol Mountain Thyme
Well the summer time is comin'
And the trees are sweetly bloomin'
And the wild mountain thyme
Grows around the bloomin' heather
Will ye go lassie go
I will build my love a tower
Near the pure and crystal fountain
And upon it I will pile
All the flowers from the mountain
Will ye go lassie go
And we'll all go together
Te pluck wilde mountain thyme
All around the bloomin' heather
Will ye go lassie go
If my true love, she did leave me
I won't surely find another
Where the wilde mountain thyme
Grows around the bloomin' heather
Will ye go lassie go
16.Whisky Scotch Whisky
Whiskey Scotch Whiskey
I need my scotch whiskey
And I'll drink my scotch whiskey
Until the day I die
Whiskey Scotch Whiskey
I know my scotch Whiskey
And I'll drink my scotch whiskey
Until the day I die
If the sea were Whiskey
And if I were a duck
I'd swim ta the bottom
and never come up
17.Sawney Beane Clan
Go ye not by Gallowa
Come bide a while, my frein
I'll tell ye o the dangers there
Beware o Sawney Bean.
There's nae body kens that he bides there
For his face is seldom seen
But tae meet his eye is tae meet your fate
At the hands o Sawney Bean.
For Sawney he has taen a wife
And he's hungry bairns tae wean
And he's raised them up on the flesh o men
In the cave of Sawney Bean.
And Sawney has been well endowed
Wi daughters young and lean
And they a hae taen their faither's seed
In the cave o Sawney Bean.
An Sawney's sons are young an strong
And their blades are sharp and keen
Tae spill the blood o travellers
Wha meet wi Sawney Bean.
So if you ride frae there tae here
Be ye wary in between
Lest they catch your horse and spill your blood
In the cave o Sawney Bean
They'll hing ye ap an cut yer throat
An they'll pick yer carcass clean
An they'll yase yer banes tae quiet the weans
In the cave o Sawney Bean.
But fear ye not, oor Captain rides
On an errand o the Queen
And he carries the writ of fire and sword
For the head o Sawney Bean.
They've hung them high in Edinburgh toon
An likewise a their kin
An the wind blaws cauld on a their banes
An tae hell they a hae gaen.
18.Kings O' Glasgow
McTavish worked the factory a common workin' lad
Not much to look forward to 'cept drink and being bad
He'd show up at the bar and spend his money on the booze
Spend the night complaining, to the barman he'd be rude
He'd brag loudly at the bar 'bout the time he'd got the crabs
Or the strike down at the docks when he beat up all the scabs
The barman said yo laddie you keep the language clean
He smiled and said pissh off and threw up in the soup tureen
What's the matter it's dear olde Glasgee's goin' round and round
Saturday night, Sunday morning
The King O Glasgee Town
One day in the Queen came 'to town, he went to the parade
Shtill pisht from the night before he spied her motorcade
As her car went past he made a gesture very divide
He lifted his kilt and showed his ass as dirty as the Clyde
He staggered home that night
His kilt was dripping piss
He stopped te boch on a minister's frock
And he raised his drunken fist
19.Taylor Made II
It's instrumental
20.Bugger Off
well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off
well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off
you're like a herd of bloody swine that refuse to leave the
trough
you'll get no more this evening so you better bugger off
you've been a splendid audience but aye your time has passed
so don't you all be letting that door hit you in the ass
you've been a splendid audience but oh enough is enough
we'd take it very kindly if you'd all just bugger off
well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off (fuck you)
well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off (fuck you)
you're like a herd of fuckin' swine that refuse to leave the
trough
you'll get no more this evening so you better bugger off
here's to all the smokin' vixens waitin' for the band
thinkin' maybe one of them might make a one night stand
but please don't take offense, because this song is not for you
we'd be happy to oblige you when this fuckin' crap is through
well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off
well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off
you're like a herd of fuckin' swine that refuse to leave the
trough
you'll get no more this evening so you better bugger off
now you've promised the ladies a night of love and bliss
when truth be known you're far too drunk to stand up straight
and piss
so give it up you fuckin' wad oh cunt you'll not be laid
the sooner you were out of here the quicked we'll be paid
you'll get no more this evening stinkin' fuckers bugger off
so haul your asses out of here you cunts and bugger off
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